Apple denies all knowledge of Apple Watch

APPLE has denied that the Apple Watch ever existed.

The unpopular wrist-computer, also known as the iWatch or Crapple Watch, combined time-telling functions with the ability to display emails on a really tiny screen.

However Apple CEO Tim Cook said it was a hoax: “You may have read some stuff online about a type of watch gadget but clearly we would never do anything like that.

“I mean, we’re Apple, we’re mates with rappers and we do cool futuristic computer stuff, not some lame thing that looks like it came out of an upmarket Christmas cracker in 1992.

“This is a prime example of what I believe they are now calling ‘fake news’.”

However sales executive Roy Hobbs claims to own an Apple Watch. He said: “I bought it from the Apple shop – sorry, ‘store’ – there’s no way it’s fake.

“It shows when my heart is beating fast which is really useful, because there’s otherwise no way I would know things like that.”

Tim Cook added: “I repeat, there is no way we would ever dick about with something so ridiculous. Guys, let’s not even talk about it any more.”