Dad forced to admit decking looks shit

A FATHER has been forced to confront the fact that putting decking in his garden was a mistake.

48-year-old Stephen Malley broke down at an intervention staged by family members who have secretly always thought the decking looks shit.

Malley said: “That decking has been a big part of my identity for over a decade. I remember putting it down, or at least helping the decking installation man to put it down.

“I thought everyone loved it and that it looked brilliant. Now though, thanks to my wife and son, I finally understand that it is a bit weird if your garden is entirely covered by a manky wooden platform.

“It feels like we’re a family again.”

Malley’s wife Lisa said: “Every time I tried getting him to talk about the decking he would simply get angry. Deep down he knew it was a problem, it was just a question of how to approach it.

“Finally we just said ‘that decking looks fucking shit’.”