Houses Worth Less Than The Bricks They Are Made Of
BRITAIN'S houses are now worth less as homes than they are as individual bricks, it was claimed last night.
Estate agents say most homeowners are dispensing with their services and instead dismantling their houses and selling them bit-by-bit at car boot sales or down the pub.
Others are breaking up individual rooms and selling them off piecemeal in a bid to stave off repossession while retaining a habitable portion of the family home.
Wayne Hayes, 36, pulled apart his detatched, four bedroom house and put all the bits on e-Bay after the best offer he received was a can of dog food and a dirty stick.
He added: "I got nearly 500 quid for the bricks. Once you add in the copper wire, the light fittings and the Belfast sink I've only lost about three-quarters of a million."
Bill McKay, 56, said he had sold the top two floors of his three-storey Georgian mansion after it was valued at slightly more than the price of a KitKat.
He added: "The corrugated iron keeps out most of the water and we've got a bucket in the corner for number twos."
Tom Logan, chief economist at the Halifax, said there were some lovely bricks coming onto the market, adding: "Now that they have been released from their pointless houses, they have some real value."
Meanwhile prime minister Gordon Brown yesterday sought to calm worried homeowners by sitting in the middle of his office floor, pulling his knees up to his chin and rocking back and forward, mumbling: "Everything will be just fine, you'll see – finey, finey, fine. Is it time for tea?"