|
SACKED CITIGROUP WORKERS BOUGHT BY FINDUS |
|
|
|
18-11-08 |
|
THE 75,000 workers sacked by Citigroup are to be bought by the multi-national food conglomerate Findus, it was confirmed last night.
 Citigroup staff contain more protein than cattle
Citigroup insisted the sale was an excellent result for shareholders and would help to offset redundancy payments to the workers' families.
Meanwhile Findus said the wholesale purchase of such a large number of redundancies could lead to a slight change in the flavour of the company's famous minced beef Crispy Pancakes.
A spokesman said: "Once the sale is finalised we will be able to process them very quickly.
"There will be nothing left that you could use for a funeral, as such, but the families can always buy a box of Crispy Pancakes and bury it in the back garden as a sort of symbolic gesture."
CITIGROUP REDUNDO-FACTFILE
- If all 75,000 workers were laid end to end the line would stretch from Mansfield to Redditch via the M1 and M42.
- Together they would fill one Old Trafford, one-and-a-half White Hart Lanes or seven-and-a-half Glanford Parks (Scunthorpe United).
- Their total weight is 5700 metric tonnes, bone-in.
- This would produce enough meat for 10.9 million packets of sausages.
- The 33 acres of leftover skin would cover an area slightly larger than the Arndale Centre in Manchester.
|
