Celine Dion Voted ‘Worst Ever Person’

CANADIAN songstress Celine Dion is the world's worst person ever, according to a new opinion poll.

At least Stalin only killed people

Readers of Total Bastard magazine voted for Dion ahead of Hitler, Stalin, Vlad the Impaler and Richard Madeley.

Total Bastard editor Wayne Hayes said: "The cover version of AC/DC's You Shook Me All Night Long was a factor, but for the vast majority it was all about Titanic.

"My Heart Will Go On is not just the worst song that's ever been recorded, it's one of the worst things that's ever happened.

"Not only did it spend the best part of three years at number one, but now every fucknut in the Western world wants it played at their wedding, and their funeral.

"Perhaps it makes them feel important, or it's their way of telling the rest of the world how sensitive they are.

"What they fail to realise is that most people will leave thinking, 'it was all going really well until that fucking Titanic song came on – what a c**t'."

Hayes said that when the entire Dion back catalogue was taken into account, including crimes such as Think Twice and The Power of Love, the French-Canadian torturer made Stalin look like a little girl with a lollipop.