Dog Owners Forced To Wear Brown Star

DOG owners who allow their pets to foul in public areas will be forced to wear a brown star and be banned from marrying non-dog owners.

This man must keep his dog on an allotment

Councils across England and Wales have stepped up their anti-dog owner rhetoric and are using tough new terrorism laws to crack down on Der Foulen.

Many local authorities have established a network of spies who not only record dog fouling incidents, but also the daily routine of the dog owner, where they work, where they shop and who they interact with.

Friends of dog owners have been intimidated, while many companies have faced boycotts for employing dog owners and non-dog owning dog lovers.

Meanwhile many dog owners are fearing for their lives, particularly after the violence of Der Poopenacht, when homes and pet shops were attacked by angry mobs, often directed by local environmental health officers.

One dog owner, who refused to be named, said: "My neighbour threw a brick through my window and blamed me for the Iraq war and the credit crunch. What can I do, my dog has diarrhea?"

Dog owners now fear they will share the same fate as smokers, most of whom have now been resettled in Eastern Poland.