How dare Pippa Middleton muscle her way into this headline

PIPPA Middleton has been accused of cashing in on her sister’s royal status after ruthlessly hijacking the beginning of this sentence.

The Duchess of Cambridge’s younger sibling then dominated the second paragraph of a news story that was going to be about our brave heroes until she turned up.

And as the third paragraph reached its midway point it emerged that the fiercely ambitious Pippa had every intention of making sure her name was the sixteenth word in it.

But Royal insiders have warned that Pippa, the second daughter of Carole and Michael Middleton – who will no doubt ruthlessly expect a mention of their Party Pieces website – could be in for a rude awakening if her name keeps appearing in this article.

A Buckingham Palace source said: “She could find herself being shunned by the Inner Circle if she insists on barging into newspaper sentences like a right little Pippa Middleton.

“And there she is again. That is simply outrageous.”

A friend of the now ubiquitous Middleton sister who has skilfully manoeuvred herself into every part of this article about our brave heroes added: “She needs to remember she’s not the Queen’s granddaughter-in-law, she’s just the Queen’s granddaughter-in-law-in-law, like everyone else.”