Keith Richards tells Death to sling his hook

KEITH Richards has told Death to move along.

The 72 year-old Rolling Stones guitarist admitted that, after a week of terrible news, Death may be ‘getting ideas’, but stressed he remained bafflingly healthy.

Richards said: “I made Death my bitch after he tried to kill me for the ninth time.

“Anyway, this week he seems a bit scythe-happy when it comes to cherished performers, but I would strongly advise him not to waste his time.

“There is nothing to see here.”

He added: “It’s almost as if Death is trying to put together a cracking little dinner party. I hate dinner parties.”