Queen’s mind still very active for 86

THE QUEEN still does cryptic crosswords and has the active mind of a woman 20 years younger, it has been confirmed.

Has not missed Channel 4 News since 1992

Amid controversy over revelations the Queen had once asked why hatemonger Abu Hamza had not been arrested, Buckingham Palace confirmed that she reads the newspapers and can often remember what is in them for up to two days.

A spokesman said: “Oh yes, she’s up to speed with all the news. Loves it. You should see her watching the television. It’s all ‘who’s he?’ and ‘what’s that?’ and ‘why did she feel the need to take them off in the first place?’.”

According to Royal sources, in 2003 the Queen asked former home secretary David Blunkett: “Arab chap with the hook and the eyepatch… been in all the papers… what’s his name again? Abu.. Abu.. Abu Hamza! Thanks, that would have driven me round the bend.

“Anyway, what’s going on with that? He sounds like a right shit. Can’t you bang him up?”

At the time Mr Blunkett told the Queen there were complex issues surrounding the European Convention on Human Rights, the Crown Prosecution Service and policemen being worried that the hook could get somehow caught on the inside of their mouths.

Her Majesty added: “It’s alright, just thought I’d ask seeing as you were here.

“So, have you ever been on a horse?”