Naive young grouse excited about the 'grouse season'
JUVENILE grouse Tom Logan is eagerly anticipating the forthcoming grouse season, due to a misunderstanding about what is involved.
As the grouse season begins, Logan, who is less than a year old, believes there will be a host of fun events of specialist interest to grouse.
He said: “There’s probably going to be a big exhibition called ‘Grouseworld’ with stalls selling delicious vegetation and insects, fairground rides and flying displays. It’s like a big celebration of grouse that goes on for months.
“There aren’t many species lucky enough to get their own season.
“I’m not even sure why we were singled out for it. I suppose everyone just likes grouse.”
Logan’s mother, hen grouse Emma Bradford is a veteran of two grouse seasons. She said: “Perhaps we should have been more honest with him.
“It’s fair to say there will be a lot of excitement, just not of the good kind. Probably though it was a mistake to make up all that stuff about what grub-flavoured candyfloss.
“I remember when I first found out about the season. I was like, ‘what…the…fuck’. Things are never really the same after that, even throughout the rest of the year it’s hard to properly relax.”