Doctors' receptionists urged to be less terrifying

21-05-13

PATIENTS have asked doctors’ receptionists if they can please stop looking at them like that.

Yes?

Yes?

As the government attacks GPs, ill people have asked whether it might help if the ladies on the desks stopped acting like Cerberus guarding the gates of Hell.

26-year-old Emma Bradford said: “I’ve got a rash on my leg so I tried to get an appointment for this week because it’s really itchy.

“But the woman on the desk with glasses – there’s always one with glasses and one without – just raised one eyebrow as if to say ‘You made your vagina into a parking bay for sailors’ cocks and now you expect us to help you’.

“She made me so paranoid that I said out loud ‘I am not a whore!’ and everyone stared at me.

“Why can’t they just be nice?”

Father-of-two Roy Hobbs said: “I requested an emergency appointment and I swear the receptionist muttered under her breath, ‘Why, did the dog eat all your Methadone?’

“I couldn’t hear clearly because her head was obscured behind one of those massive old Dell computers they have just because they look intimidating.”

Doctor’s receptionist Mrs Price said: “OK, imagine dealing with the general public for eight hours a day. If you can even do that without wanting to kill yourself, imagine dealing with the general public when they’re ill.

“Plus the ones that aren’t sick are bored idiots who treat this waiting room like it’s a particularly depressing branch of Costa.

“I imagine your milk of human kindness has now evaporated.”

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