Eating Special ‘K’ Linked To Girly Boys

WOMEN who eat Special 'K' around the time of conception are more likely to have a boy, but it will be a girly boy, according to new research.

Fibre Boy

Scientists claim the low calorie breakfast cereal can influence the chance of having a boy who enjoys musicals or, if it is mixed with strawberries, a girl who enjoys other girls.

Dr Tom Logan, of the Institute for Studies, said: "We discovered that more than 60% of those who conceived with Special 'K' are now either managing their son's career or helping him sew on the extra sequins."

Meanwhile the study found that women who want to have rugged male children must devour large handfuls of dry porridge while having sex in the back of a Land Rover.

Dr Logan added: "Alpen tends to produce those weedy, self- absorbed types whose band will never get a record deal.

"Frosties and Cocopops produce the kind of boys who are well meaning but wear colourful socks, know all the words to Bat Out of Hell and have to be told when to leave.

"Weetabix, Cheerios and Crunchy Nut Cornflakes will produce healthy, intelligent high-flyers whose only flaw is to be thrashed twice a week by a gang of Nazi whores.

"And if you eat a lot of Shredded Wheat, you'll end up with what is, basically, Alistair Darling."