Statins Free Up Time For Golf, Say Docs

STATINS are a wonder drug which allow doctors to spend an extra three afternoons a week on the golf course, the British Medical Association said last night.

'Oh yeah, that felt good'

Welcoming the decision to approve statins for 98% of all recognised medical conditions, the association predicted a noticeable improvement in tee to green performance over the next year.

A BMA spokesman said: "The five iron is a notoriously difficult club to master and too many doctors are still laying up short with a seven and then making an arse of their chip shot.

"It can ruin an otherwise decent round – meanwhile the average American doctor is carding in the mid 70s, week in, week out."

Statins were developed in the early 1980s as a fast and efficient way of clearing blocked drains. They are now used to treat a range of conditions including TB, cat flu and being British.

The spokesman added: "We're not making any promises about our putting – even the pros can go through bad patches. Look at Monty for God's sake."

Julian Cook, a GP from Peterborough, said: "Our patients come in with a big plastic jug and just help themselves from the wheelbarrow full of statins at the front door."

He added: "It's very handy because I'm club captain this year, so I only have time to look at the unusual stuff.

"But if someone does come in with a huge growth on the side of their head or an eye hanging out, I tend to put them on statins for a fortnight and then reassess."