Al Qaeda 'getting its ideas from Viz'

08-05-12

AN underpants-based terror plot has fuelled speculation that Al Qaeda is being inspired by adult humour comic Viz.

Troops locate an Al Qaeda bolthole by following sounds of sniggering

CIA operatives in Yemen have seized a crude underwear bomb, a device which they believe was based on the comic strip Felix and His Amazing Underpants.

Agent Tom Logan said: “We know that Bin Laden was a Viz subscriber. In fact that’s how we finally located him, by getting his address from their mailing list.

“His favourite characters were Biffa Bacon and Sid the Sexist. Bin Laden regularly wrote in to Top Tips but never got one published, a source of deep disappointment that fuelled his animosity towards the West.”

Following the latest underpants-based plot agents are scouring Viz back issues for clues to possible future attacks.

Tom Logan said: “Johnny Fartpants is interesting, we know Al Qaeda likes underwear stuff and his farts could easily be replaced by nerve gas. So that’s a possible technique.

“We’ve also told agents to be alert to highly-sexed obese, inexplicably bearded ‘women’ referring to themselves as ‘San’ and ‘Tray’ in thinly-veiled Middle Eastern accents and asking if they can take them to the Pentagon for a shag.”

During a 2011 raid on a cave in the Arabian Peninsula, a shoddy-looking robot vaguely resembling the character Tinribs was discovered.

Basically a small crate on wheels with a smiley face on a stick, the machine featured a voicebox taken from a child’s doll and adapted to say ‘Death to the infidel’.

 

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