Holidaying Trump reveals true tentacled form

07-08-17

ALIEN creature Donald Trump has dropped its human being disguise while on holiday.

The squid-like extraterrestrial Trump, which spends most of the year encased in a fairly realistic latex man-suit, hopes to relax and stretch out its tentacles during a 17-day golf break.

Trump said: “It’ll be great to just step away from it all and float around in a special tank of chemicals designed to mimic the purple seas of my home planet.

“Occasionally aides will lob in a live calf or homeless person as a snack, otherwise I’ll just be kicking back with a John Grisham or slithering around a golf course.

“It’s a much-needed break as I’m under a lot of pressure from work. I’m supposed to destroy human civilisation by 2019 so that my species can come and harvest the planet’s natural resources.

“Damn I think that was supposed to be a secret. But everybody’s guessed by now anyway.”

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