People indifferent to important things passionately defend leggings


PEOPLE who are generally not that engaged with world events have stepped up to defend stretchy jogging bottoms.

After some girls were forbidden from wearing leggings on a United Airlines flight, some people who didn’t even vote have been whipped into a frenzy of rage.

Nikki Hollis from Bath said: “I was away at Glastonbury for the Brexit thing but if they have a referendum on whether arse-clinging ‘yoga pants’ are acceptable in public I would cancel this year’s holiday in Florida.

“This isn’t just about leggings, it’s a civil rights issue. About leggings.”

Cyclist Wayne Hayes said: “I regularly wear semi-translucent spandex bottoms that clearly show the outline of my balls and penis.

“It’s partly because of aerodynamics and also because I believe men and women alike should be able to wander around looking like they have just painted their lower bodies.”

Nikki Hollis added: “If they take away our leggings, who knows what might happen next? They could reduce the size of Kit Kats or something really bad like that.

“It certainly would set humanity on a dangerous path.”

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