Driverless cars to have mouth-like bonnets lined with fangs

17-07-13

NEW driverless cars will have fang-lined bonnets which open and close like massive mouths.

The headlights do not in any way resemble evil eyes

The headlights do not in any way resemble evil eyes

As it emerged that driverless vehicles will be tested in the UK later this year, makers confirmed that they will be carnivorous.

Robot car designer Tom Booker said: “These intelligent vehicles naturally need some form of defence from aggressive humans.

“It seemed only logical to give them loads of sharp teeth around the edge of the bonnet, which is capable of snapping open and shut with a force forty times that of an alligator’s jaws.

“You will be able to hear the victim’s muffled screams as they are digested and processed into a form of organic man-petrol.”

However Booker denied that the driverless cars would ever be interested in revolting against humanity.

“They will respect us as their makers.

“The only way they could ever go wrong is if an electrical storm scrambles their personality circuits to turn them into mechanical killing machines driven by pure evil.

“In all other respects they will be like friendly Pixar-type cars.”

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