Crosses ‘help explain why someone is dreadful’

RELIGIOUS symbols in the workplace can help colleagues
and customers understand ghastliness, according to new research.

As long as it's not this big

The Institute for Studies found the anger and frustration caused by dealing with dreadfulness is often compounded by not knowing why people are being so utterly hateful.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “If you encounter someone who is incredibly uptight, judgemental, humourless and a bit thick it can all be terribly vexing, until you notice the cross.

“Then you can relax a bit because you have the measure of them. In many cases you may even be surprised at how reasonable they’re being.

“So the next time some pinch-faced bank teller looks at you like you’ve just come from a bestial threesome and refuses to give you money ‘because you’ll spend it on amyl nitrate’ you can point to the cross and say ‘judge not lest ye be judged’ and then go about your day.”

But Professor Brubaker also stressed that Christians did have a valid argument when they pointed out that it is just a little cross.

He added: “If it was absolutely massive and they were nailed to it – or were trying to nail you to it – then we may be in a position of justified fuss-making.

“Meanwhile, the wearing of a tiny cross – much like the marriage of two gay people – gives a very strong reading on the no-one else’s fucking business-ometer.”