Millions remember the martyrdom of Saint Pancake
CHRISTIANS worldwide have remembered the martyrdom of St Pancake of Antioch, who was stuffed full of hot cheese, fried and repeatedly thrown into the air around 530 AD.
Pancake grew up in rural Turkey, and quickly acquired a reputation for good works.
But it is the manner of his martyrdom at the hands of the church for which he is best remembered, and today his death agonies will be re-enacted by devout millions worldwide.
Religious commentator Stephen Malley said: “We know very little about St. Pancake’s life, but a great deal about the brutal manner in which he was dispatched.
“He was beaten and battered, then stuffed with a large quantity of cheese.
“Although some historians differ on this point, and insist it was spinach and ham.
“Either way St Pancake was subsequently fried, on both sides.
“After which he was repeatedly tossed into the air, in a cruel mockery of his belief that he might one day ascend to heaven or, as Pancake described it in his text De Recipus, “the righteously-made shalt adhere to the celestial ceiling.”
As a final indignity, Pancake’s body was smothered in lemon juice.