Selfish nurses quitting to kick back and enjoy their massive wealth


NURSES are leaving the NHS in record numbers because they are already minted, it has emerged.

Despite claiming to receive increasingly shitty pay from the government for doing some of the hardest work imaginable, the average nurse’s starting salary is in fact £1,200,005 per year excluding overtime and a free sports car.

Midwife Linda Thompson has spent 20 years bringing thousands of lives into the world, but has decided to quit the profession to enjoy her riches.

She explained: “I live like a rapper when I’m off duty. It’s Cristal, fast cars and toyboys all the way for me.

“My leaving is nothing to do with the wanton destruction of the NHS and betrayal of everything it was created for. It’s just time for me to chill.

“I’ll be on my private island if you need me.”

Mental health nurse Wayne Hayes, who has spent years helping the most vulnerable in society, is also  planning to make the most of his fortune before deciding on his next move.

He said: “I realise how lucky I am. There are people like David Cameron, who quit his job and just sat in a shed in his garden. Poor guy, that’s no way to live.

“Anyway, I’m off to buy some £900 leather trousers and a chair made of gold. Catch you later.”

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