Vince Cable has been reading the papers again

26-05-11

VINCE Cable has predicted another economic crash after reading about it in the newspapers.

Probably Merlin

In 2008 the so-called ‘Sage of Twickenham’ was one of the first politicians to read newspaper articles warning of a financial crisis and then tell people what he had been reading about.

Now City experts claim the business secretary has done it again.

Julian Cook, chief economist at Donnelly-McPartlin, said: “It is a fool who does not listen to Vince Cable. He has an uncanny gift. It’s almost as if he’s reading the article, remembering what it was about and then repeating it.

“Some say it’s genius while others say it’s voodoo. Personally, I believe him to be the 14th reincarnation of Merlin.”

But Martin Bishop, Vince Cable analyst at Madeley-Finnegan, said: “Because he runs a government department which is essentially pointless he has access to a lot more newspaper reading time than almost anyone in Britain.

“This is a man who really, really knows what’s in the papers.”

A source close to the business secretary said: “He sits in his office, reads a big pile of stuff and then goes into a sort of trance. His eyes wobble, his ears go a bit red, his cheeks puff out and then he makes a very long raspberry sound.

“Then all of a sudden he stands up, waves the Financial Times above his head and shouts, ‘oh no, have you seen this?’.

“It doesn’t get much sagier than that.”

Martin Bishop added: “The more I think about it, I’m not sure the business secretary telling me the economy is about to crash is tremendously helpful.

“It’s like having a plumber who comes to your house, drinks a lot of tea and says ‘if I just sit here all day that pipe is going to burst’.

“Fix it. You monumental arse.”

 

 

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