LIBERAL western culture does not seem to have noticed it is under dire threat, experts have confirmed.
Despite Suella Braverman’s warning that Western civilisation is fighting for its existence, Europe continues to teem with Europeans who are drinking alcohol, disrespecting their parents or having pre-marital sex at this very moment.
Helen Archer, who lectures in cultural studies, said: “I heard Suella’s cry of warning so thought I’d check if our very culture is under threat. It’s not.
“Just to be sure, I asked a dozen volunteers to measure their everyday experiences, to check that marches against war in Gaza aren’t drowning liberal western values in a never-ending tsunami of differentness. And no.”
Volunteer Stephen Malley, a personnel manager from Finsbury Park, said: “I got up at 7.30am to a home generally free of Muslim extremists. Maybe they all congregate there when I’m at work.
“After a hate-free, non-halal bowl of Cheerios and a cup of coffee without an opinion about the role of women in society, I left the flat and passed three women in hijabs and 74 women not. At no point did anyone criticise their clothing or convert them to Islam.
“The bus is driven by a man with brown skin who sounds exactly like me. I would not be surprised if at least one of his grandparents arrived in Britain before mine did. No passengers try to undermine my values. They’re all on their phones.
“When I get to my desk I spend about two hours reading media sites that seem to be able to publish whatever they please, including articles about how western culture is being destroyed by immigration.
“After work I go for a pint. The barman does not seem ashamed to serve me, even though the f**ker is charging me an insane amount of money.
“At home, I watch Sex and the City and marvel at the erotic athleticism of the older one, and my boyfriend and I discuss our upcoming marriage. Thus far, no one has arrested us for doing this. And that’s my day.”
