Kid Nation Declares War On Disneyland
KID Nation, the US reality TV show, has formed an army and declared war on Disneyland.
Tanks from the youngsters' first mechanised battalion smashed through the polystyrene defences at Annaheim at dawn today and by early morning were besieging the Fairytale Castle.
Eyewitnesses described scenes of horror as at least seven poorly armed dwarves were gunned down while trying desperately to defend themselves with shovels.
Mickey and Minnie Mouse were both beheaded after being lured into a giant cheese-ridden trap, while Daffy Duck was killed silently by a Kid Nation CIA 'wet team'.
But amidst the sound of gunfire and grenades, local children cheered as invading tanks pulled down the 'you have to be this tall to ride this ride' sign.
Bob Diggits of CNN said the fighting was the most vicious he had seen in 20 years of covering conflict and raising a family of five squabbling boys.
“I saw Huey, Duey and Louie being strung upside down by their little webbed feet. Pluto was hung with his own lead. Cruella De Vil was fed to a pack of hungry dogs. I saw Snow White being forced to make juice.”
President Billy Timms, 12, said the invasion was justified under international law, insisting his troops would be greeted as liberators.
However, left-wing, pro-Disney activist Noam Chomsky said the invasion was about securing free access to the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror. “This is about cheap thrills and hubris,” he added.
Former Secretary of State Colin Powell stressed the need for a robust post-invasion strategy to prevent sectarian civil war between the parade performers and the majority marketing department.