Daley Thompson denies responsibility for broken joysticks

24-07-12

SPORTING legend Daley Thompson has rejected claims that he is personally responsible for millions of pounds-worth of broken 1980s computer hardware.

His wrists work fine

Daley Thompson’s Decathlon was one of the ’80s most popular computer games. But its reliance on a frantic waggling motion to operate Daley’s character allegedly destroyed thousands of joysticks and left players with permanently damaged wrists.

The former decathlete was confronted by an angry former Spectrum owner during an Olympics press conference where he had been hating on Steve Redgrave.

Before being dragged off by security, Roy Hobbs said: “You cost me the best joystick I ever had! How could you possibly devise a game based entirely on repetitive lateral movements?

“You owe me £13.99 for an new Quickshot II Autofire, you sporty shit!”

Thompson said: “Firstly, I didn’t write the game, I just endorsed it. The rest was done by nerds.

“Secondly, you shouldn’t have played it so much. If your joystick did break maybe it was an indication that maybe it was time to go outside.”

Technology historian Nikki Hollis said: “I think Daley is, at the very least, guilty of double standards. His Decathlon gave a very mixed message that both sport and computer games were good, when we all know they aren’t compatible.

“My brother played Decathlon on his ZX Spectrum, using its rubber keys. He got so frantic on the 100 metres that they melted onto his hands, leaving him without fingerprints.

“This meant that legally he did not have an identity. So he was unable to be a part of society and became a drug addict.”

 

 

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