Mickelson praised for not thanking Jesus

GRATEFUL golf fans last night thanked Open champion Phil Mickelson for not claiming that his real caddy was Jesus.

Mickelson rejected American sporting tradition by thanking only his family, his actual caddy and the people who make his golf clubs, in a victory speech described as ‘not even remotely embarrassing’.

Golf fan Roy Hobbs said: “There was a moment when I thought Zach Johnson would win. He’s a dreary American God-botherer who has no business winning at anything.

“But then he fucked it up, so thank you for that, Jesus.”