Neville And Scholes To Spend Summer Camping In The Mountains

19-04-10

MANCHESTER United veterans Gary Neville and Paul Scholes are to spend the summer in a tent.

'If this thing grabs hold of us again... at the wrong place... at the wrong time...'

The team mates have decided to pack their rucksacks, head for a quiet spot on the slopes of Scafell Pike and just see where fate will lead them.

Friends say the England stars are likely to spend their days birdwatching and eating picnics and their nights going at it like a pair of monumentally homosexual rabbits.

The decision was made after their relationship moved to the next level in the dying seconds of the Manchester derby on Saturday.

Following Scholes injury time winner against Man City the midfielder pulled up his shirt to reveal a tattoo depicting himself and Neville as a pair of erotically entwined angels, with the slogan 'up where we belong'.

Neville then licked Scholes on the lips before gathering him in his arms and carrying him off the pitch to the rapturous applause of their ecstatic teammates.

Striker Wayne Rooney said: "Just beautiful and about time too."

But insiders insisted there have been rumours of inter-squad lovemaking at Old Trafford for years.

One sources aid: "Last year the plumber walked into the shower room to encounter a blur of ginger testes, bumfluff moustache and guttural Northern moaning. His hair went white and the very next day he left his wife and kids and went to live on the moors."

Julian Cook, professor of football at Reading University, said: "I'm not sure how this affects the title run-in but what we can say is that from now on when people think of Man United and a quivering, purple arsehole, it won't necessarily be Sir Alex Ferguson."

 

  • Share:

  • turkey_inside