North West particularly unbearable

TRAVELLERS have been warned that large areas of North West England are currently more awful than normal.

Large swathes of the population have been spotted strutting around like they do not live in a bleak outcrop of land which should really be at the bottom of the Irish Sea.

Meanwhile, others have been heard making keening noises usually associated with having their warm, flat bitter taken away from them.

North West specialist, Dr Wayne Hayes, said: “It’s about football, as these things always are.

“The RAF is air-dropping economy size bags of crisps until everything returns to ghastly normality.

“Stay away for at least a year.”