Wenger to sign 16-year-old manager

ARSENE Wenger has refused to sign a new long-term contract with Arsenal, insisting he can find a cheaper, younger version of himself.

He's very frugal

Arsenal chiefs have warned the Yafflesque manager that if he lets his contract run down there’s a chance he will be snapped up by Manchester City to manage their subs bench.

Wenger has repeatedly stated his love for Arsenal but has worried fans by talking about his frustration at not winning any trophies under himself.

He said: “I’ve been tracking a teenager in Senegal who I think can become the next Arsene Wenger. I refuse to pay the stupid prices I command just because I am a well known name.

“We have a wage structure in the club and I am not going to break that just to keep me here. I know what my future plans are for the squad and if I can’t see that then maybe it’s time I moved on.”

The club have signed a number of youth managers over the years that were tipped to become the next Arsene Wenger but none have achieved the requisite level of refusal to play direct football when necessary-ness.

The Senegalese protégé that Wenger hopes will break this trend was spotted by the Arsenal manager on a Youtube clip giving a gnomic press conference about balancing the books and the need for a winter break in the league schedule.

Wenger said: “He still needs to develop his skills berating fourth officials and kicking water bottles in disgust but I think one day he could refuse to buy any decent players at the highest level.”