You two-faced bastards, say athletes

ATHLETES have accused Britain of lying through its teeth this summer about getting into track and field.

Standing in a foggy, deserted concrete stadium with a half-gravelled running track, a consortium of athletes accused the public of not giving a shit any more about anything that isn’t football or X Factor.

Decathlete Roy Hobbs said: “When I came 12th in the Olympics my local pub put on a disco with finger buffet, but now when I ask if they’re going to be at my next meet, they look at me like I’ve asked for a go on their wife.

“We helped boost your economy but I suppose it was just a summer fling to you. Well, go back to your overpaid racists and see if I care.

“Come and see me at Milton Keynes next month?”