Alcohol

A PUB has made the strange decision to play extremely crap music at a deafening volume despite it being loathed by everyone including the staff.

YOU popped into the pub at lunchtime ‘for one’ and now you’re feeling surprisingly shitfaced. So how can you conceal it from your colleagues? Read our guide.

YOU'RE four pints in. The highlight of your evening is behind you. But is it ever ethically defensible to say ‘Right lads, I don’t want to spend another 30 quid to feel like shit, I’m off home?’

RECENTLY a Wetherspoons refused to serve two homeless men. So how can you make sure you are not turned away from this elite drinking establishment? Read our guide.

BRITAIN is still the best country in the world for consuming lager and gravy, with the average adult putting away eight pints of each per week.

A MAN who has given up drinking has been confronted with the risks and ramifications of his decision in a dramatic intervention by his friends.

A MAN’s decision to get wasted in a pub was in no way influenced by a witty chalkboard message inviting him to come inside.

A MAN who confidently told friends he was sticking to soft drinks caved after a pathetically short period of time.

A MAN who has lined up some bottles of spirits in his kitchen thinks he is like a famous debauched singer from the 50s.

THIS week the UK faced the ultimate nightmare scenario - a beer shortage. So how can you survive without the precious, life-giving alcohol drink? Read our guide.