Environment

MODERN crackers that do not even contain a magic fish or plastic jumping frog are just wank, everyone has agreed.

DO you wake up to clear blue winter skies only to find the sun’s gone by the time you’re dressed? Here’s how to make the most of your tiny slice of daylight.

THE UK’s rewilding programme will reintroducing wolves, wild boar and the Romanian pop duo The Cheeky Girls to uninhabited areas. 

ALL the people who have headed to a local beauty spot for a countryside walk are resentfully glaring at all the other people who have done the same thing.

PROPER cars will be illegal from 2030, and men will be forced to drive electric vehicles that shrink their genitalia. Here Nathan Muir answers your questions about how wrong this is. 

DO you have an important point to make but want to get it across in a way that makes everyone think you’re an absolute wanker? Follow these tips.

TIME has once again been altered because of about a dozen people who still deliver milk or grow things.

IN every city street and country lane in Britain an abandoned facemask lies dirty and forlorn. But exactly who are the twats throwing them away, and why? 

A NEW campaign is aiming to bring back discarded pornographic magazines to Britain’s woodlands.

UNFORTUNATELY it’s autumn, which means dead bits of trees are falling from their branches. Here’s how they plan to ruin your life.