Food

Now add gold leaf, says Jamie

JAMIE Oliver has used his new Christmas special to advise giving Brussels sprouts and tired old turkey a bit of pizzazz with a touch of gold leaf.

Five reasons there's never anything you fancy in the fridge for dinner

IT'S dinnertime again and there’s not a single f**king thing in the fridge you want to eat. Here’s why.

Woman found without dietary requirements

A WOMAN has been found who has no specific dietary requirements, scientists have confirmed.

Gammon thinks food allergies are a choice

AN angry middle-aged man is under the impression food allergies are a voluntary choice made by snowflakes, it has emerged.

Six shit biscuits only grandparents think are a treat

WHY did your grandparents make you eat fig rolls when Party Rings were available? Did they realise rationing had ended when they bought these?

The pathetic Brit's guide to indirectly saying your meal was shit

HAVE you been disappointed by a meal out but lack the balls to complain? Here’s your guide to indirectly making your feelings known in a feeble British way. 

Local chippy offering Klarna

YOUR local chip shop is now offering customers the chance to pay for their fish supper in interest-free instalments, it has confirmed.

How to ruin your enjoyment of food by becoming a self-proclaimed foodie

DO you have the tosspot-factor it takes to declare yourself a ‘foodie’? If so here’s how it will curse your enjoyment of eating.

Six 'pub classics' pubs always f**k up

FANCY eating out? Yearning for a stodgy feast? Avoid these 'pub classics' which no pub is capable of making.

Air frying, and other chip-cooking techniques that are shit compared to a big vat of oil

LOVE chips but disapprove of deep-fat fryers? Try these other ways of cooking them that will leave you sad and disappointed.