Food

Woman not sure whether she should spit or swallow olives

A WOMAN cannot decide whether to gag down an olive or spit the disgusting fruit into a napkin, it has emerged.

UK enters 'grudgingly accepting an outside table at a restaurant' season

BRITAIN has entered the four-month period where they will be offered an outdoor table by a waiter and unwillingly accept it.

Tofu delicious after incredibly complex process to make it not taste shit, explain vegetarians

VEGETARIANS have attempted to explain the complicated, multi-hour process required to make tofu not taste utterly horrific.

Five terrible meals that make men think they should be on Masterchef

TODAY'S men see cooking not as a dull chore for women, but an opportunity to prove their masculine brilliance. They would do these traditional bloke dishes on Masterchef. 

Eight food packaging decisions that remain a fascinating mystery

THE makers of snack foods have provided us with a cornucopia of innovative but frequently baffling packaging over the years. Here are some you’re still confused about.

Sushi, and five other foods your parents refuse to even try

YOUR parents raised you not to be a picky eater, while adamantly refusing to even consider these everyday cuisines.

Misleadingly labelled Boots meal deal claims another victim

THE ambiguous labelling on Boots meal deal shelving has caused yet another customer to overpay for his lunch, it has emerged.

Charles confirms he is exactly who we thought he was with Coronation quiche

KING Charles III has confirmed he is exactly the man the country already suspected him of being with the unveiling of his Coronation quiche.

Yellow-stickered items only rationally priced items in supermarket

THE small shelf for stock which has been damaged or is going out of date is the only section where prices are as they should be, shoppers have confirmed.

Restaurant gives vegan dishes ridiculous punning names to make the bastards suffer

A RESTAURANT has deliberately given vegan dishes stupid play-on-words names to make its herbivorous clientele feel like idiots, it has emerged.