Lifestyle

COFFEE drinkers make an almighty drama about what is ultimately just a cup of hot liquid. Here’s why tea drinkers are better human beings.

HALLOWEEN party? Intended to buy a costume but didn’t? They’re lining up to judge you, but with imagination and a refuse sack you can style it out.

HALLOWEEN is about dressing up, having fun and deeming the costumes of others offensive and demanding their cancellation.

A LONDONER has spent the weekend engaged in high-cost activities she dislikes because otherwise she might as well live in Leicester.

A MAN who thought his days of attending large social events were over has been deluged by unwelcome invites to 50th birthday celebrations.

A MAN is reconsidering his decision to get a tattoo after noticing that the tattooist had decided not to get any herself.

A MAN has confirmed that he prefers OnlyFans to sites like Pornhub because it provides him with ethical, artisanal porn.

A TEENAGER thinks he looks the business despite sporting the kind of outfit his mum would expect her own father to wear to do the garden.

MIDDLE-class families who spent two weeks abroad in summer have deigned to visit British holiday resorts this half-term.

IN the olden days, life was was more exciting for kids due to your embarrassingly low expectations. Having said that, some activities would leave a child of today needing counselling. Like these.