PETROL stations have stocked up on cheap, manky flowers in time for Valentine’s Day.
Mark Jameson, the manager of a BP garage in Sutton, said: “We know every year to order them in bulk. Perplexed and stressed out men are desperate to pay money for ugly flowers.
“So long as they’re displeasing to the eye and next to the door, the men go nuts for them. They literally cannot get enough shit flowers.
“We arrange beautiful, handpicked bouquets of horrid foliage to compliment the flowers that have wilted and died.
“Our customers love a mix of the two and business has never been better.”
Customer Wayne Hayes, said: “Thank god for this handy BP garage providing such gorgeous flowers. I don’t even look at the price because it’s all about love.”
Hayes then peeled off half of the ‘reduced’ label before flicking away some of the shrivelled brown bits.