Animals

A DOG whose quirks are uncritically adored by its owners would be an absolute nightmare if it was a human being.

A SEVEN-YEAR-OLD has completed the formal handover of all caring responsibilities for the cat she wanted to her mother and father.

MAGIC the gay penguin, who lost his partner Sphen earlier this week, is coping with the pain of his loss by putting himself out there on Grindr.

THE Household Cavalry horses who rampaged through London are keen to turn their 15 minutes of fame into lucrative media careers.

IT’S a scary world out there for you humans. Luckily I’m always there to protect you with my terrifying barking abilities. Here are the threats I keep at bay every single day.

A FRIEND has invited himself and, more importantly, his absolutely mental dog on the outdoor excursion you have planned this weekend.

A DOMESTIC cat derives his code of ethics from the uncomplicated, wrathful God of the first half of the Bible, it has emerged.

THE more pathetic and cowardly species of birds have already started flying to warmer climes for the winter, it has emerged.

A HAMSTER who is obsessed with running in his wheel will not shut up about his PBs, it has emerged.

A COUPLE are devastated that their beloved dog had a great time during his kennel stay and cannot wait to go back.