Relationships

READY to have your heart warmed? This couple didn’t meet on the apps, but by the old-fashioned tried-and-true method of being unfaithful to.

Monday. Received text from Becky asking if I’d like to meet for drinks on Thursday, as discussed. Shagged her Saturday so not sure this is required. Requires serious thought.

A MAN has embarked upon an extramarital liaison with no more hesitation than a Labrador catching a sausage, friends have reported.

A MAN who has been told by his girlfriend it is over between them has idly wondered what it would be like to say those words rather than hear them.

A WOMAN trying to perform a controlled, sensual boob-jiggle for her boyfriend accidentally triggered less welcome jiggles elsewhere.

YOU believe the relationship ended with dignity and mutual respect. What she’s telling her new partner is a great deal funnier than that. Here’s what they’re laughing about.

A COUPLES therapist has admitted she definitely has a favourite and it is the wife.

A WOMAN has dropped a quick joke about common pornographic tropes into conversation to see how her boyfriend reacts.

CUFFING season is over. Did you manage to trap another human being into spending winter with you, or will you perish in a blizzard alone?

YOU realise your partner’s dad is from a different generation with a different view of the world. But how the f**k did he come up with these impossible questions for you?