Society
ONE is a benevolent owner of property asking only a small fee to house you, the other is a soulless undead monster who wants to suck you dry of blood. But which is which?
A MIDDLE-CLASS family has rejected celebrating Halloween in favour of the ancient pagan festival of Samhain.
MOST people only use Facebook to show off photos of their new house keys and engagement rings. But these five losers still insist on writing 'happy birthday' on your wall.
A COUPLE are expecting far too much from an inconsequential meeting between their oblivious baby and their uninterested friend.
THE extra hour created by the clocks going back will not be put to good use by anyone, it has been confirmed.
A FATHER has angrily denied accurate accounts from multiple family members that he fell asleep during a film.
A WOMAN has invented an entirely new phonetic alphabet over the course of one phone call, it has emerged.
GOT kids? Wondering where all that money you throw at them goes? Learn about the useless tat they piss it away on with this guide.
A CHILD can operate a self-checkout but you’ve messed it up - again. Here’s how much the underpaid staff hate you based on the stupidity of your error.
FIREWORKS are once again being snapped up by the sorts of people least suited to using them.