AN irritating friend has once again steered a group’s conversation towards an anecdote all about himself.
Pompous cretin Tom Logan has used a friend’s talking point as an opportunity to guide the conversation towards a topic he finds much more interesting to discuss: his own experiences.
Logan said: “My mate Martin was bringing the mood down by talking about his break-up. But it segued nicely into how I met my beautiful wife. I love telling that story.
“He was in no state to talk anyway, seeing as he was silently blubbing. The two-second pause he left between sobbing heaves was my cue to swoop in and liven up the chat. He didn’t thank me verbally, but I could tell he was grateful.
“From there I started freestyling. Stories of when I won arguments flowed, then I veered off into all of my amazing career achievements before talking about my recent break in Dubai. I’m surprised nobody thanked me for my quality monologue.
“After an hour I opened up the floor. Not because I wanted to hear what my friends had to say, but because I needed a little break before diving into round two. I hadn’t even talked about my cryptocurrency gains yet.”
Logan’s friend Martin Bishop said: “We all like to talk about Tom too. Usually when he’s not there.”
