Relationships

WHEN it comes to dating advice, we’ve hopefully moved on from platitudes like ‘plenty more fish in the sea’. But is the touchy-feely advice of the internet age any better? Of course not.

A GIRLFRIEND is confident her boyfriend will never cheat on her thanks to no woman finding him in any way attractive.

A MAN who cannot be bothered to read the lengthy text his girlfriend sent him has gambled on replying with the tears-of-laughter emoji.

A DISTRESSED girlfriend has discovered that even when her boyfriend pierces his ear and puts in a slutty little hoop he does not resemble Hamnet heartthrob Paul Mescal.

SEXY girls in their early 20s looking for rich men two decades older to give them luxury lifestyles have nothing but disappointment ahead.

WANT to make her climax? Of course you do, it would reflect badly on you if you didn’t. Ready to hear how to make that happen? No, what would she know? Do this instead.

A ROMANTIC relationship is not finished after a final argument or the return of possessions but when the man no longer watches the woman’s Instagram stories.

GAY hockey drama Heated Rivalry has been a massive hit with women, so would straight men wanting to pull benefit from a change in sexual orientation? Here's what you should consider first.

A 30-YEAR-OLD man has admitted he is going through a slutty phase right now. 

A WOMAN of 35 who once relished being seduced by older men has an entirely different view now she is competing for their affections against 20somethings.