Relationships

"No-one suffers more from my commitment phobia than I do"

A COMMITMENT-PHOBIC man has explained the condition which has condemned him to a life of meaningless hook-ups and serial infidelity deserves nothing but sympathy.

Inattentive boyfriend yet to realise he's in polyamorous relationship

AN apathetic man is unaware he and his girlfriend are in a polyamorous relationship, it has emerged.

The sound of rutting foxes, and other inappropriate prompts for suggesting sex

INITIATING the act of love is a fine art. Don’t mess it up by taking your cue from any of the following.

'Feisty', and other ways to describe someone when you really want to say 'f**king annoying'

WANT to call someone an irritating bellend but can’t get away with it in present company? Try using these phrases instead: .

'Arguments are a sign of a healthy relationship' says total nightmare couple

A COUPLE who regularly scream insults into each others faces at point-blank range are adamant that it only makes their relationship stronger.

Man and woman who keep seeing each other on dating apps judging each other for it

A SINGLE man and single woman who keep seeing each other’s faces pop up on dating apps both find the other pathetic for still being there.

'I've taken a lover' and other ways to make your situationship sound better than it is

GOT yet another partner who isn’t sure what they want only that it definitely isn’t a lifetime with you? Never mind, there are ways to make your situationship sound more glamorous than it is.

Couple taking romantic autumn walk in vile slippery leaf mush

A LOVED-UP couple are taking a gentle evening stroll through the mud, mulch and loose twigs covering every path near their house.

Teenage boys cannot believe their luck in getting to date teenage girls

ADOLESCENT boys are incredulous at their good fortune in being able to date teenage girls, who outrank them in every possible way.

Man realises five years later that girlfriend was dumping him

A MAN has realised, five years after the fact, that his last conversation with his girlfriend centred on her ending their relationship.