Relationships

Christmas sex act vouchers destined to expire unused in drawer

A BOOK of vouchers for sex acts a man received from his girlfriend for Christmas are destined to expire unused in a bedside drawer. 

'I was watching that, wanker': Childish arguments to have with your adult sibling this Christmas 

JUST because you’re both in your 30s doesn’t mean your brother or sister has ceased to be a twat, or that you should not come to blows about the following trivialities.

Single professional woman home for Christmas besieged by hunky widowed lumberjacks

A WOMAN who has returned to her hometown for Christmas has been overwhelmed by the attentions of gruffly handsome lumberjacks, it has emerged.

Woman expecting Christmas proposal getting Dyson

A WOMAN excitedly expecting an engagement ring on Christmas morning has not realised she will be getting a vacuum cleaner instead.

Woman standing up to boyfriend soon to enjoy warm embrace of Tinder

A WOMAN who has finally stood up to her errant boyfriend will shortly be luxuriating in the warm, comforting embrace of a dating app.

Woman furious at being rejected by man she does not fancy

A WOMAN has been left seething with rage after she was rejected by a man she does not find attractive.

Woman making up blowjob as she goes along

A WOMAN giving a man a blowjob quickly realised she was horribly out of her depth.

The only five times your parents ever had sex

OBVIOUSLY your parents had sex in order to make you, but that doesn't mean they’re prolific shaggers. These are definitely the only other times they did it.

'But what's actually wrong with friends with benefits?' ask men

MEN have asked women what is really wrong with a ‘friends with benefits’ scenario. 

Cheating scumbag boyfriend has also lost all his WhatsApps

A SERIAL cheater has confirmed that significant numbers of his WhatsApps have mysteriously vanished, just like the prime minister’s.