Lifestyle

How to recover from a devastatingly accurate insult from a seven-year-old

CHILDREN say the cruelest, funniest things, directly to you in front of a roomful of people, like ‘Where’s your hair gone, uncle Simon?’ Here’s how to laugh it off.

Friend can remember your grebo phase

YOUR friend remembers that you used to have long greasy hair and listened to Ned’s Atomic Dustbin and has the photos to prove it.

British son f**ked again by US Mother’s Day mix-up

A BRITISH man has once again been f**ked over by Google’s assertion that Mother’s Day falls in May.

Five reasons hotel room wanks are better than regular wanks

WANKING is the best human experience possible, but did you know it feels even better in a hotel room? Here's why.

Six foolproof ways to be a twat in a taxi

WANT to really get on a taxi driver’s tits during the short journey from the pub to your house? Try these techniques:

Six depraved student habits you can't take with you into normal life   

AT university, the bar for what constitutes as acceptable behaviour is basically subsurface. However, do any of these things as a proper adult and you will become a social leper.

Strong cup of tea is middle-aged woman's can of Monster

A MIDDLE-AGED woman who wants to feel energised to the point of anxiety can do so by drinking a strong cup of tea after midday, she has confirmed.

Six places that magically become public toilets if you need a piss badly enough

STAGGERING home from the pub with five pints in your bladder and no public loo in sight? Try these handy alternatives.

Woman packs brand new unworn high-heeled boots for city break

A WOMAN visiting Paris has sensibly brought a new pair of high-heeled leather boots that are yet to be broken in as her only footwear option.