Lifestyle

WANT to take your influencer videos to the next level by completing your bucket list while balls-deep in your lady? Don’t. I tried and I botched all my life goals.

A MIDDLE-CLASS couple are still reeling after an electrician working on their home off-handedly compared the two luxury holidays he has so far taken this year.

IRONICALLY sprouting hair from new locations just as you’re going bald is a normal part of aging. Your barber now discreetly asks if you’d like these to be shaped.

A MAN has stressed that he is a modest chap with simple porn tastes. 

PLAYING a guessing game about them is a great icebreaker with women at parties, probably. But bear these things in mind to avoid being told to f**k off instantly.

THERE is no arousing word for a lady’s underthings and most kill the mood stone dead. We rank them from bad to worst.

A WOMAN who popped into her local sex shop while already feeling a little frisky has left it more than £200 down.

WONDERING why you’re paying hundreds a month for a dingy hallway, stolen parcels and a sticker with a QR code for an online scam in the lift? Check out these features.

THE UK’s leading financial expert Martin Lewis has recommended spending cash on escorts and good times because life is ultimately a finite resource.

UPTIGHT middle-class couples indulge in the ultimate taboo in the bedroom and pretend they’re common. These are six of their darkest fantasies.