Lifestyle

Parents with small children going on holiday because they're insane

PARENTS with toddlers are leaving under their own volition for a summer holiday of nerve-shredding anxiety because they are out of their minds.

Arsehole bouncer 'there to make sure everyone enjoys themselves'

A NIGHTCLUB bouncer who enjoys intimidating people and pinning them to the floor is just there to make sure they have a good night out, he has claimed.

Woman too aroused by man's soothing voice on meditation app to concentrate

A WOMAN trying to use a meditation app is too aroused by the man’s soothing voice to be in any way relaxing.

Woman can't wait to use new bread maker three times

A WOMAN who bought a bread-maker is excited to use it three times before going back to buying bread.

Adrenaline junkie actually attention junkie

A MAN who claims to be hooked on exciting activities is really just addicted to telling people about them.

Middle-class woman runs out of hobbies to pathetically give up on

A MIDDLE-CLASS woman has officially run out of creative projects to abandon.

Should you tell people about the dream you had last night?

DID you have a dream last night and are desperate to tell someone about it? Find out whether that is a good idea with our handy quiz.

How to pretend going to the beach is fun

IT’S summer and that means beach time. Yay. Here’s how to look as if you do like to be beside the seaside, even though it’s pretty shit most of the time.