The gym and four other f**king irritating places to take selfies

SELFIES are inherently annoying, but they can be even worse if you’re careful to use these locations.

Man's body now permanently adjusted to four-day weekends

AN OFFICE worker has, following Easter, shifted to a three-day week four-day weekend calendar and is unable to shift back.

Five ways to get a teenager out of bed before noon

EASTER holidays making mornings a distant memory for your torpid teenager? Try these ways of raising them from their pit.

Mindlessly scrolling on your phone: The predictable ways you'll piss your evening away again

GOT grand plans about how you will spend the evening? Forget them. This is what you'll be doing instead.

How to support a big six club and be a twat about it

FAN of a Premier League giant? If so then you need to be very annoying about it in these specific ways.

Five disappointing trips and activities to book with the kids this Easter

WANT to spend your Easter weekend dragging the kids round underwhelming activities while getting ripped off? Go to these places.

Six things never to mention at a middle class dinner party

SOME middle class friends have invited you round for dinner and naturally you want to make a good impression. Try not to f**k it up with the following conversations.

Bank holidays, and other things you look forward to that end in crushing disappointment

IT'S great to have something exciting and enjoyable to look forward to. Unless it’s one of those much-anticipated events that end up being a huge letdown. Such as:

How to cope with an annoying bastard having a banging sex life in a shared house

LIVING with a flatmate who goes at it day and night? Here’s how to cope with the annoyance and envy of them constantly getting some.

Man relieved home repair needs professional tradesperson

A MAN has heaved a sigh of relief after an expert was called to fix a problem which was slightly too difficult for him to attempt himself.