The myth of going out on the pull vs. the punishingly grim reality

GOING out on the pull is a myth created by lads' magazines. Here's what really happens when you try to find a stranger to have sex with:

Light-up trainers, and other stupid status symbols from your childhood

THE social hierarchy of your school days was insanely dumb. If you didn't have any of these items you were at the bottom of the heap.

Man can't carry off saying 'bruv'

A MAN who addresses other men by calling them ‘bruv’ has not got the required personal characteristics to carry it off.

What to expect when you hang out with a more attractive friend

ARE you off out with a friend who’s drop-dead gorgeous in a way you will never be? Here’s what to expect when you find yourself playing the ugly mate.

13 everyday things that make you irrationally angry

FORGET Covid and Brexit - it’s the little things that make us totally lose our shit on a daily basis. Like these:  

Laughing teenagers, and other sounds that haunt your nightmares

DO you wake up in a cold sweat, imagining you heard one of the many awful sounds of waking life? These will ruin your beauty sleep.

Father and daughter shaken and silent after driving lesson without screaming match

A MAN and his daughter have been left reeling after completing a driving lesson without any yelling incidents.

What downmarket crap will delight your kids most this half-term?

KIDS will hate the educational activities you have planned for half-term. However they will lovingly remember these lowbrow experiences forever.

'Adulting' and other phrases so wanky they make your skin itch

SOME modern phrases are so godawful they make you want to squirm yourself inside out. Here are the worst offenders.

Seven cold, wet, miserable places to holiday in Britain this half-term

THE October half-term is here. Where are you going for another doomed attempt at a holiday? Try these hellholes.