Should you get three weeks paid leave to bond with a new pet? F**k no

YOU’VE got a new puppy. Should your employer give you three weeks paid leave to enjoy learning to live and grow together? F**k they should.

13 incredibly f**king inconvenient times your children urgently need you

KIDS been quiet for five minutes? Cause a massive childcare emergency by attempting to do one of these simple things.

Single man has single pan

A SINGLE man who lives by himself owns and does all his cooking with one single pan, it has emerged.

The seven things you used to have that are worth absolutely shitloads now

THAT thing you used to have? Selling for a grand on eBay now. If only you'd kept it, along with all this shit.

Woman unleashes Armageddon by leaving school mums' WhatsApp group

A WOMAN has unleashed Armageddon by removing herself from a WhatsApp group for school mums.

Free gifts on comics: Rubbish things you had to have as a kid

AS a child did you think you’d die if you didn’t own certain items of tat? Here are the things you pestered your parents endlessly to get.

Teenage boy outlines plan to outgrow school uniform by half-term

A TEENAGE boy has announced his intention to have a radical growth spurt that will render his school uniform redundant by half-term.

How turning 50 will sneak up on you like a bastard

ARE you worryingly close to the age of 50? Here’s how you’ll suddenly realise you’re really quite old.

Do you still eat chicken? Thick as shit questions vegetarians love to be asked

ASIDE from feeling superior, the best perk of being vegetarian is repeatedly being asked these inane questions...

Which YouTube videos are raising your children for you?

TOO tired or lazy to be a parent? These are the mindless YouTube videos raising your kids for you.