Lifestyle

A COUPLE are being unaccountably ungrateful to a Travelodge which, at no extra cost, provided them with the opportunity for a spontaneous 2am threesome.

A SOCIAL butterfly of a 41-year-old claims to know three whole people he can readily classify as friends.

A FATHER is refusing to let a spot of uncontrollable wildfire ruin his family’s holiday in Bordeaux.

OFF to sunny climes completely not expecting it to piss it down? These unfulfilling emergency pastimes will take your mind off knowing you could be in Britain for free.

MILLIONS of Britons have agreed to end the misery of painfully awkward occasional conversations with their neighbours.

YET another woman with a successful corporate job is leaving to follow her ludicrous middle-class passion.

A MAN has opted for agonising sunburn after concluding that a male friend applying sun cream would be gay.

LONG-TERM unemployment means playing the long game. And while all you suckers have been buying houses, cars and holidays, my grift has paid off big-time.

A 52-YEAR-OLD man has admitted he cannot purchase anything costing upwards of £99 online unless sitting soberly in front of a laptop computer.