Lifestyle

'Dickheads' and other more accurate terms to describe performative males

MEN who insincerely adopt female-friendly behaviours to attract women have been labelled ‘performative males’. However these far better terms exist.

Friend who claims to be okay thinking of living on a houseboat

A FRIEND who says they are fine is nevertheless considering moving out of their flat to live on a houseboat, it has emerged.

Five things that are better than sex with you, specifically

SEX is widely regarded as extremely enjoyable, unless it’s with you. In which case these activities are suddenly much more appealing.

How to have a hedonistic Naughty Nineties party without any associated risks: a guide for Gen Z

NOSTALGIC for the naughty 1990s but afraid to step out of the comfort zone of staying in alone staring at your phone? Here’s how to party like an All Saint, but safely.

How to introduce a new fascist friend to your existing friends. By Robert Jenrick

YOU may be unsure how to introduce a new friend to your existing friendship group, especially if they're a far-right activist. Here’s how I make sure everyone gets along just fine.

Seven great ways to be a St George's flag knobhead this summer

TWATS are putting up England flags everywhere even though there’s no football tournament on and calling it Operation Raise The Colours. Here’s how to join them.

'Builder's tea' is annoying people's top drink

SO-CALLED builder's tea is the refreshment of choice among people who are irritating, it has emerged.

Terror as taxi driver joins in conversation

A FAMILY has been left terrified after a taxi driver joined in their conversation, revealing that he had been listening all along. 

Uncle sucking whole family into black hole of ancestral research

AN uncle has decided the entire family should be enslaved in his tedious quest to research their family history.