Lifestyle

AN old-fashioned time piece is shamelessly showing off its incredibly sexy, curvaceous figure for all to see.

OLDER men looking to attract younger women have leapt onto the fake nipple trend and are wearing as many as 18 per outfit.

A MAN who attempted to chat up a woman in a dog park has been outed as a loather of dogs pretty much immediately.

AN 18-year-old beginning his second week at university has already found the person who he will be desperate to avoid all the way until graduation.

I WAS all ready for the school run. Miu Miu coat. Mulberry bag. Devastating list of my children’s achievements. Then nothing happened, because I’m in Warrington.

A MAN is pining for the days of tastefully shot softcore porn that did not feature stepmoms or being stuck in washing machines.

YOU have arrived at your chosen university and a year’s study stretches ahead of you but you’ve got thousands in your pocket right now. Here’s how you’ll waste it.

A MAN who in a physical sense has lost his virginity is still a sexless loser deep down in his soul.

A 42-YEAR-OLD who was a pariah in youth for not drinking, not having sex, being right-wing and having a mullet is gratified to see those things become cool.

EVERYONE loves a get-together they organised, full of their mates. Everyone except the partner they’re dragging along who develops a terrible cough the night before.