Lifestyle

THE Church of England has announced that self-pleasure is only a real sin if you are attractive to others.

I USED to be the fashion editor for British Vogue, and now I’m a bricklayer and hod-carrier. Why? You already know the answer is money, don’t you?

IMAGES of attractive, stylish celebrities in the media are putting unreasonable pressure on men to make the effort to look half-decent.

LAUREN Hewitt and Josh Hudson have just bought a house outright aged 25. Can you work out the clever way they did it besides trivial money 'hacks'?

ALL that positive hantavirus publicity got you thinking of booking a cruise? Before you set sail like a carefree, oceangoing Zack Polanski, consider these reasons not to.

A FATHER’S ideal activity on a beautiful sunny day is taking his children to a series of industrial site and scrapyards so he can cheaply purchase a fuel pump housing.

A WOMAN who recently lost weight is now the subject of a race by her female friends to put it back on her as quickly as possible. 

SCOWLING landladies of unwelcoming bed-and-breakfasts at windswept British seaside resorts are looking forward to resenting you this summer.

A MAN praised for being physically affectionate and in touch with his emotions is surreptitiously following the dictates of his penis, he has confirmed.

THE Devil is flattered you imagine he can still afford designer clothing in this economy, but says you are sadly mistaken.