Lifestyle

THE first arrivals at Glastonbury are shitting with barely a tremor of revulsion, they have gleefully confirmed.

THE Lake District has unveiled a new advertising campaign reminding the public that travelling there is always to be regretted and never, ever pays off.

YOUR friend who you have previously mocked for their lack of interest in current affairs may have had the right idea the entire time, you have admitted.

IT’S the Summer Solstice tomorrow, and celebrations will include every type of mystical bollocks from the Mother Goddess to fae folk. Here’s how to take a more practical, grounded approach.

AFTER receiving clothes that smell like a nuclear warhead went off in a detergent factory, Vinted buyers are wondering what their purchases are cleaned in.

TEENAGERS leaving secondary school have been plunged into the harsh reality of ten weeks off pissing about with their mates.

A SHORT afternoon nap will either refresh and recharge you in just 20 minutes or leave you in a stumbling daze for the rest of the day, it has emerged.

GOING on holiday? Cunningly preparing your house so burglars will believe it’s occupied and go home with swag bags empty? They’ll never expect this.