Lifestyle
THE reason your tree is lopsided no matter how much you adjust it is because it is already shitfaced, experts have confirmed.
A SNOWMAN you made in the back garden is to remain in place after all other snow melts to remind you of what a poor job you did.
A PORTLY middle-aged goth has confirmed there is a limit to the slimming capabilities of an all-black wardrobe.
CITY dwellers who relocated to the countryside for a quieter life find their friendly, helpful village neighbours an absolute pain in the backside.
A WOMAN is unable to sit backwards on a moving train for unspecified yet ominous reasons, it has emerged.
IN a jam and going nowhere fast? Here are five irrational acts that will have absolutely no f**king effect on your traffic situation.
TEENAGERS will try anything in a pathetic attempt at rebellion. And as everyone who went to school knows, even the dullest uniform can be used to prove you don’t give a f**k.
A WOMAN who knows that she is attractive has declared that she simply cannot understand why other women dislike her.
IN an act of heroic feminist allyship, a considerate man has kept his views to himself throughout a conversation about star signs.
A FAMILY’S Christmas lights switch-on has been performed by a father who has been up and down ladders untangling this shit all f**king day.