Lifestyle

Eminem, and other celebs you really can't imagine as a father-in-law

EMINEM’S daughter has got married, so her husband presumably has to discuss DIY with a controversial rap megastar accused of hating women. Here are more freakish celebrity in-law situations.

What is manifesting and why is it bollocks?

MANIFESTING – the practice of visualising the accomplishment of a goal to make it come true – has never been so popular, and never been so bollocks. This is why.

'My friend has inadvertently shat upon your table': Useful phrases for Brits in Magaluf

THE uptight Spaniards are whinging about Brits having fun in Magaluf again. Here are some handy Spanish phrases to help keep relations cordial during your holiday.

Teen spends three hours agonising over what to wear to hang out in car park

A TEENAGER has been struggling with monumental indecision over which of her outfits would best suit loitering in a car park behind a B&M Bargains.

Body positivity over, be skinny with big tits again, women told

WOMEN have been informed that body positivity’s time has passed and being thin with large breasts is their new look.

Glorious sunshine reveals you're living like a filthy animal

THE radiant sunshine beating down on the country has revealed that everyone has been wallowing in their own filth for the last few months.

'An erection on the bus is a sex crime': Unexpected problems of having a 12" penis

YOU probably think it’s great having the biggest penis in Britain, but big cocks aren’t all plain sailing. Sometimes, like King Midas, I wonder if my donger is a curse, not a blessing.

How to replace the Millennial slang you didn't understand with Gen Z slang you don't understand

MILLENNIAL slang is out of date and should be replaced by Gen Z slang, apparently. Here’s how to look ‘with it’ even if no one has a f**king clue what you’re saying.