Lifestyle

A MAN has bravely told his girlfriend how great her new pixie crop looks while pinching his inner wrist hard to hold back the tears.

A FOOL threw away his 20s predominantly sober while holding down a stable job and adult relationship, it has emerged.

GROUPS of middle-aged cyclists in Lycra are unhappy that motorised two-wheeled travellers in denim and leather are far more feared.

ZOMBIE knives in the news make you feel pathetically cosseted and middle-class. But by tweaking the facts, you too can have the benefits of a rough upbringing.

WHEN you’re achieving as much in life as me and Angela Rayner – for her being deputy Labour leader, for me rearranging bird ornaments – it needs to be documented.

DIGGING around in the foetid mud of the Thames among the accumulated rubbish of the past 200 years is a shit way to spend a Saturday, it has emerged.

STRUGGLING to chime in at the pub due to your terrible social skills? Make it through to last orders in one piece with this guide.

PANIC is rising as you will be forced to flush a toilet in someone else’s home for a second time, it has emerged.