Lifestyle
A LONDONER has spent the weekend engaged in high-cost activities she dislikes because otherwise she might as well live in Leicester.
A MAN who thought his days of attending large social events were over has been deluged by unwelcome invites to 50th birthday celebrations.
A MAN is reconsidering his decision to get a tattoo after noticing that the tattooist had decided not to get any herself.
A MAN has confirmed that he prefers OnlyFans to sites like Pornhub because it provides him with ethical, artisanal porn.
A TEENAGER thinks he looks the business despite sporting the kind of outfit his mum would expect her own father to wear to do the garden.
MIDDLE-class families who spent two weeks abroad in summer have deigned to visit British holiday resorts this half-term.
IN the olden days, life was was more exciting for kids due to your embarrassingly low expectations. Having said that, some activities would leave a child of today needing counselling. Like these.
A WOMAN who worries about being a bad mother absolutely is one, her friends have confirmed.
A MAN in his mid-30s is content to keep consuming the porn he fell in love with during his formative years.
SPENT a stupid amount of money on a theoretically functional item? Here are some things that you will never dare to use and resent for it.