A MIDDLE class family has decided to treat itself by going on a day trip to an estate agent’s window.
A WOMAN has inserted her finger in her boyfriend's ear in a bid to be kinky.
A BABY'S habit of crying and defecating constantly are part of his 'quirky personality', it has been confirmed.
A MAN has allowed his use of a dating app to convince himself that he has any standards whatsoever.
A WOMAN has confirmed that her natural state of being is eating avocado toast and drinking wine before noon.
THE parents of a 26-year-old woman are excited to finally meet their daughter's casual sex partner.
A MIDDLE class mum and dad are nauseatingly proud of the fact that their two-year-old likes the taste of olives.
DO you feel you’re being unfairly attacked for being a baby boomer, despite believing anyone with a grievance is a ‘snowflake’? Here’s what to do.
A MAN is under the impression it is cool to pretend his girlfriend is the boss of him.
JEREMY Corbyn is promising the nation free broadband because he still believes the internet is an educational tool, it has emerged.
APPARENTLY some moaning minnies are unhappy with my handling of the floods, but I say they just need to show a bit of pluck and spunk! Here is my advice.
THE new John Lewis advert stars Excitable Edgar, a dragon who burns off his own penis and has to wait until Christmas for a new one.
NEED to convince people to vote for your terrible Brexit deal? Get them on board with a deeply patronising slogan. Here’s how.
ARE you being annoying enough about obsessively checking your phone? Here are some great situations to rudely interrupt.
WOULD you like to be one of those annoying friends who gives terrible advice about situations you don’t understand? Follow this guide.
A HAIRDRESSER’S hair is inspiring fear rather than confidence in her hair styling abilities.
A MAN wrongly assumed that the last few sheets of bog paper would be enough for his requirements.
A DIRECTOR who shortened his original film rather than load an extra, pointless hour onto it has been widely praised.
BREXITERS are frequently criticised for being shouty and unreasonable, but – fair’s fair – Remainers can be obnoxious too. Here’s how.
THINK wireless earbuds make you look cool? Only until one falls out into your skinny macchiato. Here’s how to be even more of a twat about them.