A MAN is labouring under the delusion that he has won an argument with his wife.
A SUPERMARKET has offered a full refund after a man bought a pizza with a satisfying amount of toppings on it.
A WOMAN has the amazing ability to take any compliment given her and instantly turn it into an insult, her partner has confirmed.
THE spiders living in a suburban house have broken their truce with the human co-occupants by entering the forbidden zone of the bedroom.
ARE you a Brexiter unable to stop howling about democracy despite not knowing how it works? Here’s how to be a shouty, ill-informed w**ker.
IS everyone racist except you? Are you the only white person who truly gets it? Do they need to be told?
IS IT really so impossible for us all to forget our differences over Brexit and just get along?
AN out-of-his-box British man in Amsterdam is claiming he can tell the difference between various strains of super-strong skunk.
THE prime minister has confessed to his Brexit negotiating team that he confused Ireland, the independent country and EU member, with the Isle of Man.
HIGH street retailer Matalan has changed its slogan to ‘for the mum who’s given up on life’.
DOCUMENTARIES about people claiming benefits are as popular with Channel 5 viewers as ever, but could you make one?
THE prime minister is searching the whole of Britain to find a location he can visit without a member of the public tearing him a new ars*hole.
THE Sun is Britain’s favourite race-hate tabloid that acts like we’re constantly at war, but it’s a mistake to ever read it. Here are seven reasons why:
TODDLERS have confirmed that refusing to do the clever thing they have been doing all week so their parents look like liars is their favourite game.
MAKING c*ck-all money busking so want to take revenge on everyone on your high street instead? Try these numbers:
FIRST-YEAR students have been told to settle in, take things easily and to have the best week of their whole lives or there is something wrong with them.
A SMARTPHONE relaxation app really needs to take a f**king chill pill, users have confirmed.
A WOMAN is addressing a baby with questions that can only be answered by the baby’s mother.
A WOMAN who has spent her adult life pretending that champagne is marvellous and special has finally admitted it tastes like farty urine.
A POSTER for a ‘much-loved’ missing cat has omitted its nine-year reign of terror over the rest of the street.