What sort of music prick are you?
MUSIC is one of humanity’s greatest creations but there still loads of ways to be a real prick about it. Which type of music prick are you?
Fresher getting ready for night out that will wreck her career in 10 years’ time
A UNIVERSITY fresher is currently getting ready for the night out that will destroy her career in 10 years' time.
Working-class people should be proud of their gnomes, says May
THE prime minister has said that working-class people should be proud of the amusing garden gnomes they choose to decorate their homes with.
Isle of Man to be renamed ‘Manorca’ post-Brexit
THE ISLE of Man is to be renamed Manorca should Brexit go ahead, it has been confirmed.
Bridesmaid pushing bride to be a nightmare so it’ll go viral
A BRIDESMAID is subtly pushing her friend to make more and more unreasonable wedding demands so her post about them will go viral.
Saying something incredibly f**king stupid now ‘starting a debate’
MAKING an unbelievably stupid statement just to be annoying is ‘starting a much-needed debate’, idiots have asserted.
How to have a really pretentious dinner party
DINNER parties are a great way to prove you're better than your friends. But how do you pull it off?
London shit
LONDON is shit, it has been confirmed.
House of Fraser unveils new business model of not letting you have stuff when you pay for it
HOUSE of Fraser is to cease the 'economically suicidal' practice of giving customers goods when they pay for them, it has confirmed.
Woman who went to doctor with cold moaning that NHS is overstretched
A WOMAN who went to see her GP because she had a bit of sniffle was outraged that the waiting room was full of people.
Has Brexit already happened? Take our test to find out
IN the confusing modern world it can be hard to tell if Britain has already left the European Union, so why not take our quick test to find out.
Man ejected from easyJet flight for being wrong kind of pissed
A MAN has been ejected from an Easyjet flight for being the wrong kind of pissed, it has been confirmed.
The judgmental bastard’s guide to poverty
WITH new poverty figures just out, do you feel poor people are basically scum who bring it on themselves? Here’s how to be a judgmental bastard about poverty.
Labour Party unveils 24-foot bronze statue of brave and noble leader Corbyn
THE Labour Party has confirmed the smelting of a 24 foot bronze statue of Jeremy Corbyn in which he will be either handing out bread or banging his left fist into his right hand.
Man in new relationship does all his farts in the park
A MAN in a four-month-old relationship is still breaking wind in the local park.
Couple ‘moving for better schools’ told ‘f**k off and good riddance’
THE neighbours, friends, and family of a couple who are moving house to be in an area with better schools have been told to fuck off and not come back.
Family eating at table just watching telly from slightly different angle
A FAMILY who decided to dine together at the table for a change now have to crane their necks to watch Emmerdale.
Man who went camping at weekend expects sympathy
A MAN who went on a rain-soaked camping trip at the weekend is telling colleagues as if he deserves sympathy.
Yoga teacher masters tricky move of pretending to have her life together
A YOGA teacher has finally mastered the challenging move of pretending to have a fully-functioning life outside yoga classes.
Are you watching Bodyguard or is there something wrong with you?
EVERYONE is glued to sexy thriller Bodyguard, episode five of which is shown tonight on BBC1, but what about those few malcontents and weirdos who are not watching it?
