THE government’s half-price meal scheme begins today, but is it bollocks? Here's why you may not be rushing to take up Rishi Sunak’s incredibly generous offer.
JUST because you’re a nice middle class person it doesn’t mean you can’t talk dirty in the bedroom. Here sex columnist Donna Sheridan shares her tips.
YOU’VE been ordered back to ‘the office’. So what is this strange place, and why are you here?
A WOMAN who made a corner of her flat appear minimalist and sleek for the purpose of video calls is starting to believe her own lies.
A WOMAN has joked that she only becomes likeable after her morning coffee, to the surprise of colleagues who hate her at all times of day.
A RENOWNED female scientist has made it her life’s work to establish the precise timings of ‘Prosecco o’clock’ and ‘Gin o’clock’.
GLAMPING is just camping with a wood-burning stove and a string of fairy lights, new research has found.
LAST YEAR, I was a wreck. Overweight, ugly, deeply in debt, trapped in an unhappy marriage and playing Russian roulette every Saturday night just to feel alive.
A TWAT in a busy supermarket is about to f**k up everyone’s day by scanning wine through a self-service checkout, it has emerged.
EVERYONE’S wearing masks now, but do you want to raise the blood pressure of gammons even more? These five locations should outrage the already red-faced.
A WHITE van driver has no strong feelings towards the arse of a nearby woman, thinking it neither good, bad or worthy of comment.
WHEN you were a teenager and explicit content of any kind was hard to come by, there were always these six albums to help you through.
A PARTY has acknowledged that if you want to keep up social distancing, MDMA is not the right drug.
A MAN who has been on the loo for the past 40 minutes while his family is downstairs has quietly admitted that this is the best part of his day.
HAVE travel chaos and quarantine ruined your plans for a posh foreign holiday you can show off about? Here are some horribly bourgeois British alternatives.
MEN who take their guitars to parks and play them are the worst people in existence, it has been confirmed.
THE South has ordered the North to stop being all weird and friendly and in and out of each other's houses, supposedly because of coronavirus.
PEOPLE who relish stifling temperatures of 30-plus degrees have smaller brains than those who do not, experts believe.
WOULD you like to develop a hysterical love/hate relationship with the Royal Family? Here Daily Mail news editor Tom Logan explains how to go about it.
STRUGGLING to feed your family in these difficult times? Luckily consumer expert and posh shopper Susan Traherne is here to help with some detached-from-reality tips.