What to do if you've been shafted by Brexit, by a Brexiter

FISHERMEN, hauliers and other businesses are struggling to cope with Brexit. Here Leave voter Roy Hobbs offers his common sense advice to affected industries.

The Brexiter's guide to buying British

BREXIT has finally happened, it’s a great success, your next car should be a Morris Traveller and your next computer an Amstrad. Alongside these patriotic purchases...

UK in race against time to spend high street vouchers before shops go bust

ACROSS Britain recipients of high street gift vouchers are desperately racing to spend them before the retailers in question go bust. 

How to bollocks up your Christmas shopping

READY to spend the last few days before Christmas in a blind panic for gifts and food, online or in real life? Here’s how to end up with none of the stuff you need.

Mum launches business inspired by wanting to get away from her children

A MOTHER-OF-TWO has started a business of her own inspired by her experiences of having children and needing a legitimate reason to spend time away from them.

Woman who vowed not to shop with Amazon this Christmas cracks after three minutes

A WOMAN who promised to do her Christmas shopping at independent retailers this year has clicked ‘Buy Now’ on Amazon less than three minutes later.

All-night Christmas parties to be held in M&S bakery aisle

BRITONS are planning to make the most of 24-hour shop openings by holding debauched parties in the baked goods aisle of Marks & Spencer.

Shame about that business of yours, says Sir Philip Green to wife

A COMPLETELY uninvolved Sir Philip Green has casually mentioned the impending collapse of the Arcadia Group to their owner, his wife Tina.

Sainsbury's Christmas advert features family of arseholes to accurately reflect modern society

THE latest Sainsbury’s Christmas advert centres around a family of complete arseholes kicking off about Brexit over dinner.

John Lewis cuts hundreds of jobs to pay for bullshit advert

JOHN Lewis has let go hundreds of workers to cover the cost of making this year’s bullshit Christmas advert.

Why I quit my job to make money telling you to quit yours

I FOUND freedom and unleashed a creativity I never knew I had by quitting my office job, and now I think you should pay me to tell you that you can too.

Middle-class woman takes Waitrose bag to Aldi

A WOMAN has admitted feeling deeply ashamed for humiliating other shoppers by using a Waitrose bag at the Aldi tills.