Business
Couple who bought house now interested in 'the economy'
A COUPLE who bought a house are suddenly interested in 'the economy', their friends have confirmed.
Company seeking 'superstar' settles for deeply mediocre office drone
A COMPANY that wrote a sickeningly over-the-top advert for a boring job has had to rethink its expectations.
Quaint market town would secretly love massive Tesco
RESIDENTS of a sleepy Shropshire market town would be absolutely stoked if a massive Tesco opened, they have confirmed.
Work anniversaries are not a thing, world informs LinkedIn
HUMANS do not celebrate the anniversary of getting their job, the world has told LinkedIn.
Wetherspoon unveils 'Brexit Chaos' breakfast
WETHERSPOON has unveiled its new 'Brexit Chaos' breakfast, which includes an unknown quantity of vague, ever-changing ingredients.
Shop assistant asking if you 'need any help' definitely thinks you're going to nick something
SHOP assistants asking if you 'need any help' definitely suspect you of shoplifting, it has been revealed.
I lost my life savings for nothing more than being a naive, greedy bastard who fell for a get-rich-quick scheme
IT could never happen to me, people say. And unless you’re an avaricious knobhead so convinced of their superiority they believe they can double their money in six months, you’re right.
Boss taking credit for team's work only contributed management bullshit
A BOSS has taken all the credit for his team’s work despite mostly just distracting them with management toss.
- Waitrose closing stores because you're not good enough for them
- Intern adds 'procuring and distributing varied, challenging ice-cream order' to CV
- We insist on only the finest French champagne, say Wetherspoons' aristocratic customers
- Petrol going up to stop everyone moving to France
- We get it, you like Primark, says New Look
