Business
23 Mars missions, and what else £100 billion could buy you instead of HS2
THE HS2 line linking London and Birmingham, which are already linked, is currently set to cost £100bn. What else could that money buy?
Amazon detractors forced to admit that Saudi Royal family is just slightly worse
PEOPLE who have been complaining about the evils of Amazon for years have been forced to admit that the Saudi Arabian Royal family might just have the edge.
It's Easter now, say supermarkets
SUPERMARKETS have confirmed that it is Easter now.
Queen sells advertising space on the side of swans
THE Queen is to boost royal revenues by selling advertising space on the side of swans.
Build-A-Bear party exposed as child labour
CHILDREN’S Build-A-Bear parties are actually sweatshops, it has emerged.
TK Maxx Christmas advert lasts three hours and ends in a fight
TK MAXX’S new Christmas advert is three hours long and ends in a punch-up.
University to be turned into student housing
A UNIVERSITY’S campus is to be entirely converted into student living accommodation, it has announced.
Man who is his own boss should have fired himself a year ago
A SELF-EMPLOYED man has confessed that the business he runs should really have let him go in 2018.
Adorable little trinket shop obviously a front for evil
A QUAINT little knick-knack shop selling curios for affordable prices must be a front for terrible evil, shoppers have agreed.
How to look like a b*llend when receiving a platonic hug
AWKWARD continental-style hugs and kisses are a social minefield. Here’s how to get them really wrong.
Matalan's new slogan 'For the mum who's given up on life'
HIGH street retailer Matalan has changed its slogan to ‘for the mum who’s given up on life’.
Pound drops to 1 nectar point
STERLING has plummeted to an all-time low against the Nectar point.