Business

Middle-class woman takes Waitrose bag to Aldi

A WOMAN has admitted feeling deeply ashamed for humiliating other shoppers by using a Waitrose bag at the Aldi tills.

No Deal Brexit could see Waitrose become billionaire-only

ONLY customers with a net worth of a billion-plus will be able to afford Waitrose if Britain leave the EU without a deal, the supermarket has warned.

Online clothes shopper treating herself to sending everything back

A WOMAN who has spent the weekend shopping for clothes online cannot wait to send every single item straight back again.

Undertaking driver in rush to get to f**knut convention

A DRIVER who undertook multiple cars on the motorway was in a hurry to get to a convention full of other f**knuts, it has emerged.

What does your bag for life say about you?

SUPERMARKETS are considering scrapping bags for life. But which one do you use and what does it say about your value as a human?

Middle-aged man in face mask trying to chat up checkout girl behind plastic screen

A MIDDLE-AGED man has decided that his face mask and an 8ft plastic screen are no barrier to chatting up a checkout girl in Tesco.

Woman who likes to pay extra for no reason off to Waitrose

A WOMAN who enjoys paying extra for items that are just as good elsewhere is off to shop at Waitrose again, it has been confirmed.

London must return to being a living hell or our economy is doomed

CRAMMED tube trains. Five-hour daily commutes. Soaring house prices. Jobs that barely pay a living wage. If London cannot return to this, the UK is doomed.

Eight reasons why the Argos catalogue was better than Amazon

THE end of the Argos catalogue is the end of an era for Britain. Here’s why buying the same crap from Amazon will never feel as good.

Landlord disgusted to discover you've been eating, sleeping and shitting in his investment

A LANDLORD has been horrified to learn that his tenants have made themselves at home in his investment property to the point of shitting in it.

Five lovely cute little businesses run by horrible posh twats

LOVE that new vegan cafe or organic chocolatier? Prefer not to know these adorable independent businesses are run by insufferable privileged bastards?

Someone explain discounting to Waitrose, demand Britons

DISCOUNTING something that costs £3.85 to £3.55 is not a proper discount and can Waitrose please sort it out, British shoppers have asked.