Business

AN upcoming cage match between Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk will end in one of the more horrible deaths ever streamed on Facebook.

THE office is already hell if it’s not air-conditioned, but which of your colleagues are earmarked for plum jobs in the pit of the damned?

THE poverty-stricken multinational corporation Amazon once again stands before taxpayers barefoot and in rags, begging for a handout.

NEW legislation threatens to stop landlords running a five-bed in Willesden as if it were North Korea and they Kim Jong-un. Here we answer your landlord queries.

THE animals formerly known as pigs have been legally compelled to change their name and appearance by supreme litigators Percy Pigs.

DISCOUNT hotel chain Travelodge has swapped its ‘Do Not Disturb’ signs for ones warning that the room’s lone occupant is mid-wank.

BOSSES at TransPennine Express thought it would take more than a few cancellations to trigger Northerners, who have turned out to be soft as shite, they have revealed.

WETHERSPOONS is reporting record profits after attracting customers struggling with the cost of living. Here’s how to convince yourself it’s a great place to drink.

BUSINESSES have announced plans to keep communicating their ‘brand stories’ until the public cracks and buys a product.

A MUGGER has told his victim that he simply needs to accept that he is poorer rather than furthering an inflationary spiral.