Politics

A SLENDER branch from the Magic Money Tree has been gifted to Rwanda for taking away asylum seekers, it has emerged.

IMMIGRATION minister Robert Jenrick has quit the cabinet and Britain for the ‘earthly paradise’ of Rwanda.

RWANDA is now perfectly safe for migrants because I, James Cleverly, signed something saying so. And, drunk with power, I also declare these activities safe forever.

THE right-wing voters the Conservatives are wooing with a 25 per cent cut in legal immigration are shaking their heads at this woeful underestimate of their prejudice.

KEIR Starmer has set out to appeal to Home Counties Conservatives by revealing he dresses as Margaret Thatcher and chokes himself to orgasm.

THE Suella Braverman of Sept 2022-Nov 2023 was ‘a slap in the face’ for voters, Suella Braverman has insisted.

THE Conservative party actually believes that you are overwhelmed by their generosity in yesterday’s budget.

BRITAIN has agreed that between inflation, rent, mortgage rates and taxes, National Insurance was definitely the problem in need of urgent attention.

THE Conservative party has apologised for losing the house in a series of ill-advised bets by presenting Britain with a bunch of flowers from the all-night garage.

TOMORROW’S budget statement is rumoured to contain tax cuts, but will they save you money or are they politicised bullshit? A group of twats give their views.