Cutting from Magic Money Tree gifted to Rwanda

A SLENDER branch from the Magic Money Tree has been gifted to Rwanda for taking away asylum seekers, it has emerged.

Jenrick leaves Britain for Rwanda

IMMIGRATION minister Robert Jenrick has quit the cabinet and Britain for the ‘earthly paradise’ of Rwanda.

Six other things that are now safe because I signed a treaty, by James Cleverly

RWANDA is now perfectly safe for migrants because I, James Cleverly, signed something saying so. And, drunk with power, I also declare these activities safe forever.

If you only knew how racist we really are, sigh right-wing voters

THE right-wing voters the Conservatives are wooing with a 25 per cent cut in legal immigration are shaking their heads at this woeful underestimate of their prejudice.

I dress up as Thatcher and strangle myself until I ejaculate, says Starmer in appeal to middle England

KEIR Starmer has set out to appeal to Home Counties Conservatives by revealing he dresses as Margaret Thatcher and chokes himself to orgasm.

Current Suella Braverman attacks Suella Braverman of Sept 2022-Nov 2023

THE Suella Braverman of Sept 2022-Nov 2023 was ‘a slap in the face’ for voters, Suella Braverman has insisted.

Tories genuinely think you've been blown away

THE Conservative party actually believes that you are overwhelmed by their generosity in yesterday’s budget.

Yeah, it's the National Insurance that's f**king killing us, everyone agrees

BRITAIN has agreed that between inflation, rent, mortgage rates and taxes, National Insurance was definitely the problem in need of urgent attention.

'Sorry I lost the house gambling, here's some flowers from the garage' say Tories

THE Conservative party has apologised for losing the house in a series of ill-advised bets by presenting Britain with a bunch of flowers from the all-night garage.

Why we should have tax cuts that benefit me personally and nobody else, by a whole bunch of twats

TOMORROW’S budget statement is rumoured to contain tax cuts, but will they save you money or are they politicised bullshit? A group of twats give their views.