Politics

A SCHISM in Reform UK is the inescapable consequence of running a party entirely composed of frothing mad f**kwits, its leader has admitted.

VICE-president JD Vance caused outrage by disparaging random European countries that are definitely not, he later clarified, Britain. So where did he mean?

AMERICA’S a bit of a no-go. Europe hates me. Best not mention Russia. It seems it is time to dedicate myself to the good people of Clacton.

A SELECTION of British lunatics are claiming, in the face of all available evidence, that Friday’s events were good for the US and Ukraine. Hear them out.

PRESIDENT Trump has promised that in the event of any military action against British forces in Ukraine, he will hold the prime minister’s jacket.

NIGEL Farage has volunteered to be, in times of war, the head Army quartermaster diverting vital supplies for his own personal profit.

YESTERDAY’S rise in defence spending has only confirmed a man’s gloomy forebodings about geopolitics for the next two to three decades.