Why £5,300 energy bills are not a bad thing, by Liz Truss

DOOMMONGERS will say £5,300 energy bills could drive millions into poverty. Let me, Liz Truss, explain why they are not a bad thing.

Are you stupid enough to be nostalgic for Boris Johnson?

MANY Tory grassroots members wish lazy, incompetent liar Boris Johnson could continue as PM. So do you share their inexplicable nostalgia? Take our test and find out if you are very stupid.

I'm having a petrol barbecue, and it's nothing to do with donations from climate skeptics

THERE’S nothing like a juicy steak cooked on a proper petrol-fired barbecue, because petroleum is a completely natural miracle fuel we should extract more of.

Half a lager and in bed by 10pm: Rishi Sunak's guide to enjoying a party

RISHI Sunak recently revealed he has never taken drugs and thinks they’re ‘horrific’. Here’s his guide to sensibly enjoying yourself at a party.

The Tory guide to dentistry for scum who can't afford to go private

BRITONS are finding it impossible to sign up with an NHS dentist. That’ll teach you to do better at school and go private, says health minister Steve Barclay. Here’s his dental advice.

Open a bottle at 12pm sharp: Boris Johnson's handover notes revealed

DESPITE being a chaotic nightmare while in office, Boris Johnson has taken steps to aid his successor. Here are his handover notes in full.

My adventures in Scotchland, by Liz Truss

HOOTS, I’ve caused a stir by saying we should ignore Nicola Sturgeon and Scotchish independence. Here’s what I learned during a government fact-finding trip to this strange, backward little province.

Liz Truss having photo done in England kit as we f**king speak

LIZ Truss is posing for a photoshoot in England kit with a football under one arm as we f**king speak, Britain has realised.

A day in the miserable childhood of Liz Truss

LIZ Truss has been accused of distorting accounts of her Northern childhood. Here the surely-this-is-a-joke leadership candidate recounts her impoverished upbringing. 

Starmer sacks Angela Rayner's boyfriend so he can be her boyfriend

KEIR Starmer has sacked his deputy Angela Rayner’s boyfriend and suggested that perhaps he could step in on an acting basis.