Politics

He doesn't even remember who I am, says sobbing Farage

NIGEL Farage has been sitting on the edge of his bed in the dark crying and holding a signed photo of President Trump, according to friends.

Danny Dyer appointed Minister for Not Getting Mugged Right off like a Right Little Mug

DANNY Dyer has been appointed Minister for Not Getting Mugged Right off like a Right Little Mug, it has been confirmed.

Johnson and Davis to spend next three months backpacking around South East Asia

BORIS Johnson and David Davis have confirmed that they quit the cabinet to go backpacking around South East Asia together.

Leaving a sinking ship can be the right thing to do, by a rat

IT'S great to see so many of our leading Brexiteers prepared to learn from the vermin community.

David Davis quits cabinet to focus on solo material

BREXIT Minister David Davis has resigned to work on some exciting solo material inspired by leaving the EU.

Britain officially a banana republic

BRITAIN is now officially a banana republic with constant sunshine, collapsing government and a good football team.

Brexit summit to be less intellectually stimulating than Love Island

TODAY’S Brexit summit will contain fewer intelligent arguments than Love Island, experts believe.

Brexit totally worth it if you really like fish, says Gove

THE Brexit fixation with taking control of our fish supplies is great news for people who cannot get enough fish, Michael Gove has explained.