Politics

IS Starmer’s government in irretrievable Chernobyl-style meltdown, leaving Britain uninhabitable for decades, or is this a minor kerfuffle? Let’s consult the Trussometer!

IS YOUR Conservative MP brightening from dark blue to light? Does he miss old pals like Danny Kruger and Nadine Dorries? Find out.

LOSING two members of his government in a week has raised concerns about Labour’s leadership and whether the country would notice if it changed. He must answer these.

KEIR Starmer claims to love the flag. Nonsense. He may take it home but there as yet exists no evidence that he then accompanies it to bed.

THE UK’s embassy in Washington has a vacant slot and there are plenty of Britons we could do without. Who are you nominating?

LORD Mandelson has prepared his coffin, checked the ancient Cyclus Diabolicus, set an alarm and settled down for when he is next needed.